


Before my wild eyes I feel you holding me tighter, when will we finally breathe?

by FIRELORDKATARA



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: After this book 4 would come but we were robbed, Angst with a Happy Ending, But I'm trying to make it better, Canon compliant ... to an extent?, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Katara (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Katara and Zuko picking up the pieces, Light Angst, One Shot, Post-The Last Agni Kai (Avatar), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, The Gaang struggles with war experiences and life that follows, They figure out what the future might bring, Zuko (Avatar) Needs a Hug, Zuko doesn't know how to show he cares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:33:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28526268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FIRELORDKATARA/pseuds/FIRELORDKATARA
Summary: Post Agni Kai with Azula, Katara refuses to leave Zuko's side, working herself off to reduce the damage from his sister's lightning. Her friends, Zuko included, don't like that one bit and try to get her to rest - results of their requests... pretty much vary (and are unsuccessful in the long run). Feelings are discussed, conclusions about the future are drawn and I'm sincerely sorry about the mess I've created but here goes nothing!More or less inspired by 'Love and War' and 'Breathe' by Fleurie, my hcs and @_blue_lunar_'s fanarts on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/p/CIHvObVnk_j/https://www.instagram.com/p/CIKMcwXnUsI/
Relationships: Katara & Zuko (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 55





	Before my wild eyes I feel you holding me tighter, when will we finally breathe?

"You look terrible."

It hurts Zuko to say this, as much as it hurts to see Katara swaying on her feet from exhaustion as she’s still making the effort to mend the havoc that Azula’s lightning has wrecked through Zuko’s body. 

Her usually flushed face is drained of color, dark bags under her eyes that don't sparkle happily anymore after what feels like endless hours of healing. The vivid blue is dimmed now, and Katara seems to let go of her facade when the events of the final fight are finally catching up with her. She can’t keep the images of Zuko falling to the ground with the haunting sound of electricity cracking from flashing before her eyes.

“You don’t exactly mince words, do you?"

She mumbles defensively, too tired to fight back - her hushed but a bit snarky tone being the only indication of her annoyance.

"Katara, I'm trying to help you. You can't heal if you work yourself off into unconsciousness."

These words accompanied by Zuko's familiar touch on her hands seem to resonate with Katara enough for her to bend the water back into the pouch.

"Do me a favor, get some rest. I'll be taken care of while you sleep." he strokes her knuckles with his thumb a little mindlessly, nodding towards the Kyoshi warrior entering the chamber.

Suki's eyes widen at the sight of Katara.

"You look-"

The waterbender just waves her off angrily, huffing in exasperation, her stubbornness now countered by the determined expression melting off as she's slowly yielding under her friends’ pleads.

"I know, terrible. Our dear Firelord here did not hold back."

Zuko knows better than to answer her mocking bitterness in the same manner, just like he knows that the reason for Katara’s animosity towards them is nothing else than the events of the past few days taking their toll on her wrecked nerves.

"Fine. But I'll be back in an hour." Katara eventually gives in, folding her arms across her chest before walking out into the hallway.

When the door finally closes behind her, Zuko and Suki exchange looks with the echo of her steps fading away in distance.

  
"She means it." the warrior mumbles grimly under her breath, concern lacing her voice, and Zuko realises he has nothing else to do than agree.

***

When Katara finally lays down in the silence of her own quarters, it proves terribly hard to keep the worry from consuming her altogether. 

The issue doesn’t lie in Suki, Katara would put her own life in her hands without hesitation, just how she would do - and does - with Zuko’s.

But there is something unnerving about the darkness, even about the absence of the body burning up with fever by her side. Her surroundings feel cold and the chamber feels deserted, unfriendly, too empty for her liking as she drifts off into uneasy, dreamless slumber.

The light sleep she’s fallen into does nothing to dispel the sudden loneliness and the alarming sensation that’s settled in the pit of her stomach, holding her in a tight grip.

***

An hour later, shaking off the remains of tiredness, Katara is walking down the hall quite energetically for someone who has gotten no rest for the past day. She’s nibbling on a piece of bread grabbed from the palace kitchen, a weak, not-so-convincing sneer plastered to her face when she reassures highly unconvinced Suki that “everything is fine” and “she can take it from here”.

“How are you feeling?” a light, relieved smile is tugging on her lips, temporarily brightening up her exhausted face and Zuko finds himself preferring this to the false one he witnessed a moment ago.

“It’s not bad. Hurts a little, but it’s only been a while. Nothing that getting some sleep can’t fix.”

He answers with the waterbender settling by his side, watching him intently as she’s trying to determine if what he’s saying isn’t just an act of indulgence on his part.

“Katara?”

“Hm?”

The mutter is all he gets in response while she’s examining his middle, even though they both know not much has changed during the hour she was gone.

“Speaking of… You’ve been here all day, dismissing our concerns about you, fussing over me like I was going to break apart if you stopped checking up on this.” He gestures towards the wound before continuing. “I don’t know why you lead the others on but you don’t have to lie… Not to me.”

Zuko shifts carefully between the pillows, letting the cautious question linger in the air, trying to fight the drowsiness overcoming him for a little while longer.

Katara presses her lips together, sighing before looking up at him and Zuko nearly feels his heart wrenching at the sight of utter apprehension and restlessness that are now reflecting in her eyes.

“I thought we were going to lose you out there and… everything happened so fast but looking back... we- no, I came so close to losing you - I know I healed as much of the damage as I could and I trust my abilities, I really do, but despite it I can’t rid myself of the fear that there’s a possibility of something going wrong and I won’t be here to help and the thought is _terrifying_.”

Katara is aware that her speech is picking up pace and becoming nearly incoherent with every passing second - it feels like there’s nothing that could put an end to this horrible, suffocating feeling. Shallow breaths are escaping her lips with tears pricking up in her eyes as she’s helplessly trying to suppress the choking sensation of incoming sobs rising in her throat.

A badly concealed wince of pain flashes on Zuko’s face when he hauls himself up to place his hands on her shoulders. Watching the strongest of his friends break down in pieces in front of him just like that is shocking and Zuko feels like he might follow, crumbling right there with her. 

Katara’s body keeps shuddering under his gentle yet firm touch as he’s trying to bring her back, desperate enough to try almost anything to stop her from crying. His equally distraught whispers somewhat contradict the familiar steadiness of his hands but nonetheless, they bring an end to her sniffles when she sits back upright, wiping her face.

“Katara.. Katara, look at me. Breathe with me.” 

Zuko ignores the stinging soreness growing in the center of his chest as it rises and falls evenly, keeping a fixed rhythm in order to help her match the slow pace of his own breath.

In this moment he’s thanking his mentors for emphasising how fundamental breath control is as a firebending basis - Zuko knows it would be impossible to soothe the agitated waterbender without slowing his own frantic panting first.

“I’m okay, right here in front of you. Because of you, you are the one who kept me from going over the brink, Katara. Feel it for yourself.” he mumbles weakly, taking her hand into his to press it to the left side of his chest, over the dressing that’s covering the majority of his upper body.

As if reminded of the existence of the fresh, vulnerable wound, Katara suddenly takes notice of Zuko’s increasing weariness and his unsuccessful attempts to keep the pain from mirroring itself in his features any longer.

A pang of guilt tugs on her heart when she wipes the last tear that’s gone astray to her chin before helping Zuko adjust himself between the sheets again, inspecting his middle for any signs of aggravation. Whether she does this solely to be ensured about his well being or, more likely, to avoid his gaze and put off the conversation about what has just gone down for another minute - she does not know and does not admit it in face of her own conscience.

It takes a good while before she speaks again; Zuko’s waits in silence, having learned before that this approach works better than rushing her.

“The first person I had to see go was my mother, falling victim in one of the last raids in search of southern waterbenders. Then, it was my father, I watched him leave for a war that did not make sense to me at the time. I watched Sokka beg dad to let him join the force and I did not understand. Not that I understand it any better now… Back in Ba Sing Se, I watched Aang go in a blink of an eye and had him come back to us because of the Spirit Oasis water.”

Katara pauses for a second, guilt flashing on her face, her hand reaching out towards Zuko’s scar almost involuntarily. 

He stays put, neither discouraging or endorsing her and her expression is promptly replaced by what it was before, hand returning to her lap.

“Today, it was going to be you, fading away in front of me. And I thought… I knew it would be the last straw. If I allowed it to happen- I knew I couldn’t. We’ve gone a long way together, Zuko, and...”

The following five words are barely audible and it’s her eyes that speak volumes, shining brighter than the moon.

“...you’re important to me.”

She confesses quietly, collapsing against his chest and it’s his hands tangled in her hair again, soft curls now freed of the beads holding her loopies in place, his fingers running up and down, up and down in a familiar rhythm like they did before.

“You didn’t let it come to that, Katara.” he reminds her for the hundredth time that night and he knows he’ll keep doing it whenever she needs him to.

“Thank you, Zuko.” Katara’s response has a thousand meanings, all of them crammed into this sole sentence, and he understands every single one of them.

“You should get some rest now, I’ll come check on you in the morning. I’ve been keeping you up for long enough.” she adds hesitantly, turning towards the door with ongoing reluctance.

“Do you have to go?” Zuko asks and watches her eyes widen in slight surprise before continuing.

“I don’t... sleep well alone. I tried today, it ended up being the worst sleep I’ve ever had.”

Katara leaves her post by the decorative portal where she’s been standing glued to one spot for the past few minutes, an unreadable expression on her face when she finally speaks out.

“I thought it was just me.”

Zuko receives a confirmation of his suspicions - the war has taken its toll on every member of their group - and Katara was not spared, even though the nightmare has come to an end.

“Would it help if you… stayed? I mean, slept here tonight? We can both fit…” he trails off, stammering halfway through his spur-of-the-moment offer.

Katara fidgets with her fingers for a few awfully long seconds and Zuko almost takes back his suggestion when she makes up her mind and nods, relief written all over her face.

“If you don’t mind…”

“On the contrary. It feels off, doesn’t it? Being alone after all this time.”

He replies, watching Katara rid herself of her boots and slide under the thin covers on her side of the bed. He doesn’t have to clarify that he’s also noticed how strong the group’s bond has gotten during all these months - he knows she’s gotten his message.

A few minutes pass in silence that’s anything but stifling, but as ridiculous as it is, sleep doesn’t come to Zuko and judging by Katara’s indiscreet tossing and turning, she’s having similar troubles.

“Oh spirits, I’ve had enough.” he hears her mumble in frustration under her breath and next thing he knows, her hands are lingering over his sides as she’s asking for permission.

“Can I?" a sheepish question falls from her lips.

“Please.”

One word, that’s all Zuko is able to say at the moment and he finds himself sinking into Katara’s solicitous embrace.

That’s how her arms end up cautiously wrapped around Zuko’s middle, the silk of his robe soft against her cheek as she’s finally drifting off, more peaceful than before, snuggled into his back.

"Goodnight, Zuko."

His response is a more or less incoherent mutter when he scoots even closer to her; she can’t bring herself to mind, taking in the feverish warmth radiating from his body, more intense than usual. Were the circumstances any different, she would deem it too much, yet at this moment she adores it with her entire being, clinging to Zuko with all that she has.

 _Everything feels right_ , Katara thinks to herself, _at last falling into place, like long lost closeness, like something meant to be, as if written in the stars._

What she’s not aware of is that Zuko’s last thought before slipping into untroubled sleep is the same as hers.

 _Maybe there could be something more to us after all._  



End file.
